Yikes! I Got Mom Shamed
One of my friends was telling me about recently being at the park and another mom telling her she thought her child had A.D.D. My friend was taken aback and was not sure what to say. My friend asked the other mom why she thought this and the mom said because her child seemed full of energy and seemed to be more active than her own children.
My question is when is it okay to say something to another parent and when is it not? It's one thing if you ask for advice, but another thing when another parent offers unsolicited advice about your child or to your child.
Here are some scenarios that have either happened to me personally or a friend. You be the judge. Would you step in and say anything or would you not? Are parents being helpful or meddling? What is the line between a positive and negative comment?
Scenario 1: A mom sees two kids walking home from school and rolls down her window to ask the kids if their mom knows they are walking home from school unassisted. The mom then phones the other mom and asks her if she knows her kids are walking home alone.
Scenario 2: Mom sees a rash on an arm of another child and suggests to the other mom that it may be Lyme's disease and she should have it checked out.
Scenario 3: It's Fall out and a child takes their coat off in a store and mom does not put it back on before heading to the car in the parking lot. Another mom yells at her in the parking lot and calls her a bad parent for not putting a coat on her child.
Scenario 4: Child trips in the store and does not cry or says they are hurt. Another mom tells the mom she thinks her child hit her head and should seek medical attention.
Scenario 5: Child walking back from the bathroom in a store to a nearby waiting parent who is watching the entire time. Another parent stops the child and asks if they are lost.
Scenario 6: Mom calls another mom and tells her her child was being disrespectful at the bus stop. The other mom was waiting in the car at the bus stop and didn't get out due to a sleeping toddler so did not see what transpired. Child claims she was not disrespectful.
Scenario 7: Older child is cutting in front of toddler on the playground and the other parent is doing nothing about it. The parent decides to talk to the older child directly instead of the parent and reminds them to take their turn.
Scenario 8: Children are all walking together with their parents and one of the children steps on a lawn near some flowers. The other mom tells her not to step on the flowers and to walk on the sidewalk instead. The child's mom is there as well, but this mom does not address the parent and addresses the child directly.
Scenario 9: Children are all eating lunch together with their parents and the one mom tells someone else's child that she should not eat her dessert before finishing her fruit. The child's mom is present, but the other mom addresses the child directly.
Scenario 10: Another mom tells a child I think you have had too much screen time and it's time to put away your Ipad. The child's mother was present, but the mom did not direct her comment to the mom, but the child.
What is your take on parenting other children with or without their parents being present? Is it okay? If so, is there a line to go too far? Please comment below and let me know your thoughts.
